Child Always Asking For Snacks? How to Respond to the Snack Obsession
When it comes to snack foods for kids, there’s no shortage of packaged options that can press every parents’ buttons.
In other words, processed foods are typically synonymous with snack foods.
Am I right?
I mean, think of all your child’s favorite snack foods.
If your kids are anything like mine, I’d imagine that list includes things like fruit snacks, cheese puffs, and goldfish crackers of some sort.
Among other things.
As a parent, you might cringe every time your child reaches for a packaged snack in the pantry. Or feel like you’re sucked into a losing battle every time your child whines for more snacks.
If you’ve found yourself in this position, I want you to know you’re not alone.
As parents, we’re faced with so much conflicting information when it comes to feeding our kids. Everywhere we turn, there’s fear-mongering about the food we eat and feed our children, and packaged snack foods are no exception.
You might’ve heard things like:
“Processed foods are so unhealthy for kids.”
“Packaged foods offer no nutritional value to a child’s diet.”
“Snacks are just empty calories.”
And so on. But what if we could flip the narrative around your child’s favorite snack foods and see it as something helpful?
Why Processed Snack Foods Can Be Helpful
Processed snacks foods can be an important part of your child’s overall health and in supporting them in building a healthy relationship with food.
Here’s why:
As parents, we may tend to hyperfocus on certain foods we think our children need to be healthy. Vegetables and fruit tend to take higher priority on the list.
And while these foods do play an important nutritional role, they can often be much more challenging for our children to learn to eat.
Produce and protein foods have more complex flavors and textures that can be challenging for kids to learn how to eat. This can be especially true for children who have sensory sensitivities or who are more selective with food and eating.
We have to remember that eating is a process our children are learning, just like they are learning how to build other skills, like reading and riding a bike. Eating is something that takes time, repetition and exposure.
And just like other skills our kids are learning, they need a supportive environment to build their confidence and capabilities.
When it comes to eating, kids learn when their eating environment is supportive and safe.
It’s going to be much harder for our kids to learn how to eat other foods that may be more challenging for them, like vegetables or meat, when they feel pressured by their caregivers or when mealtimes are a place filled with tension and stress. Research has shown that pressure to eat feeding tactics are often a contributing factor to pickier eaters.
It’s also harder for our kids to learn how to eat more challenging foods when there is an absence of accepted foods available for them.
Think about it like this: Imagine you go to a party and walk through the door. The room is packed full of people you don’t know or recognize. You instantly feel a bit out of place. Everyone’s talking in a language you don’t recognize and the environment is new, so you don’t really know your way around.
But then, let’s say you run into a really good friend of yours. SAVED! You’d instantaneously feel a sense of relief and belonging, even in a place filled with unfamiliarity. This alone would help you relax and feel more confident in navigating the new surroundings you’d find yourself in.
I know this might seem like a cheesy analogy, but go with me here.
Kids are the same way when it comes to food and eating.
When they get a plate full of unfamiliar food, or foods that might be more challenging for them to eat, they can feel that same sense of tension of feeling out of place. Seeing something familiar at the table or on their plates can help diffuse that tension and stress they may be feeling at meals or snack times.
So while packaged and processed foods, including a majority of snack foods kids love to eat, often get a bad wrap, they can actually plan an important role in helping your child feel more comfortable at eating times.
And when your child feels more comfortable, they’re more likely to build positive associations with food and eating.
Positive eating experiences make for a positive relationship with food. This is why it’s necessary to see the big picture at hand.
Think of the packaged processed foods your child loves to eat as a gateway for them learning how to eat other foods, too. This is why we want to move the negative associations away from any foods kids love to eat in order to make them accessible.
Packaged processed snack foods - I’m looking at you here.
We can also strategically use them at meals and snack times to support our kids in feeling safer and more confident in learning how to eat and in exploring other foods that may be less familiar to them. Think of them like vehicles that help your children navigate the world of eating and all the varieties of foods they’ll encounter. When they can build confidence in one area of eating, it will naturally help them in other areas, too.
Making Peace With Processed Packaged Foods
Here me out though: I’m not saying all this to try to convince you to just feed your kids their favorite packaged snack foods and not expose them to anything else. Kids absolutely need exposure to a variety of foods - that’s how they’ll learn to eat new things. However, we need to consistently include their safe and accepted foods alongside other foods they’re learning how to eat.
This will ultimately help them build their confidence in their eating experiences.
In order to take this step in helping our children, it’s important that we make peace with these foods first.
Let me explain.
If you’re feeling anxious or worried about your child eating or gravitating toward processed, packaged foods, it’s likely going to create more conflict around eating.
Our kids are smart. They can pick up on our energy and mannerisms. They read our body language. They hear unspoken messages in the words and phrases we choose to communicate with them.
I don’t share this to make you feel bad or guilty. That’s not the point here.
Feeding kids is hard, and you’re doing the very best you can to raise and feed your children with the information and resources you have.
And if things feel stressful around food in your home and with feeding your kids, I want you to know it doesn’t have to be like this. There are other ways to approach food that can support you in bringing back the joy to eating again so you can enjoy freedom with food as a family.
In many ways, this has to start with us. Sometimes, we can only take our children as far as we’ve come ourselves.
If you’re struggling with making peace around the foods your child loves to eat, this is going to make it even more challenging for all of you.
However, when you can understand some of the nuances of feeding children and recognize it’s not always black and white (ie. “Kids should only be eating {X} foods to stay healthy and need to avoid {Y}”), this will give you the freedom to support your kids where they’re at. In turn, you’ll have more peace at your dinner table or whenever you eat together as a family.
But raising healthy kids isn’t about rigid food rules or worrying every time they eat something commonly labeled as “junk food”. When you can stay focused on the fundamentals of building a trusting feeding relationship with your children, you will be laying the foundation they need to grow up with healthy eating habits.
Change Your Mindset and Your Language Around Snacks
So why does all this matter? And what does this have to do with snack foods?
Well, it boils down to this: Your thoughts around food influence your feelings. Your feelings in turn influence your actions. If you’re starting out with the mindset that it’s unhealthy for your children to eat processed snack foods, this is going to influence how you feel every time your kids ask for goldfish crackers or want chips, etc.
You might feel stressed or worried. You might be annoyed and frustrated. These feelings, in turn, may influence your behavior around these foods. You might take steps to limit your child from accessing these foods. Or another common reaction might be your language. Meaning, these feelings might push you to say something, where you project how you feel through the words you say.
Now, this isn’t inherently a bad thing.
However, the more awareness we have about our reactions and where they stem from, the more we can be empowered to create a new chain of events that productively supports our children in building a positive relationship with food.
One key area that you can start with is language. Because how you talk about food, especially with your children, can shape the way they feel about their bodies and eating in general.
Why Our Language Around Food Matters
How we talk about food matters.
And if we’re quick to label food or demonize the things our children love to eat, this can have unwanted consequences.
One thing to remember is that developmentally, children are literal thinkers. Meaning, they often take what we say at face value and don’t necessarily understand some of the nuances of things we may be expressing.
For example, when a child hears someone say, “Those chips are so bad for you, you shouldn’t be eating them.”, they can translate this message to mean, “I’m bad for wanting to eat these chips”
Children aren’t born with a hierarchy of food rules. They’re born with the innate capabilities to eat and self-regulate foods according to what feels best in their bodies. It’s not until they begin picking up on languaging around food that they start forming an idea that some foods are “bad” and others are “good”.
The danger with this is that it creates unnecessary fear, shame and guilt around food. Children can begin to internalize messages they hear about food and believe they are inherently good or bad based on what they eat.
These external messages and rules around food can deter them from listening to their own bodies, which can make it harder for them to trust themselves and what they need.
Children will pick up on a variety of messages outside our home, and diet culture plays a big role in this. While we can’t necessarily prevent our children from being exposed to these types of messages, we can set a strong foundation from within our own homes, where they can learn they are safe to eat and enjoy a variety of foods.
This is where our language comes into play.
This is why how we talk about food to our children is important.
Especially when it comes to those foods your child loves to eat that maybe, you’re less comfortable with.
When we can choose to approach foods from a neutral perspective and talk to our children about foods in a neutral way, we can help preserve our children’s innate capabilities to eat intuitively .
This means letting go of any polarizing language around food, especially those packaged processed snack foods your child loves to eat.
It means refraining from demonizing certain foods in an attempt to get your child to not eat those foods. Because the reality is, these tactics don't work. In fact, this can make food more chaotic and confusing. Children may be more drawn into eating the foods we categorize and make a bigger deal about because naturally, they’ll seem more appealing and special.
So what are some practical ways you can practice this in your home and with your children?
Helpful Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Snacks
Because snack foods are often talked about in their own category, I want to give you some helpful language tips for approaching snacks in alternative ways. Again, the reason we don’t want to categorize snack foods, whatever they might be that we’re referring to, is that it can imply rules around how we’re supposed to eat those foods.
Polarizing language around snack foods kids love to eat can also form a hierarchy of food in their minds, where some are better than others, making it hard for them to listen to and trust their bodies for what they need.
So when you’re thinking about how you talk about foods, especially snack foods, keep the following things in mind:
How you refer to snack foods in general:
Instead of categorizing your child’s favorite packaged, processed foods as “snacks” or perhaps things like “junk food”, “unhealthy”, “bad food”, “empty calories”, etc. just call it for whatever it might be. For example, you can refer to it by it’s actual name or the type of food it might be.
Examples of this would be: Crackers, gummies (fruit snacks), chips, cookies, popcorn, etc. This might seem weird, but it really does help take a more neutral approach to food.
Not only does it not create any negative associations around these foods, but it helps your children better learn about the foods they’re eating and wanting to eat. Taking a neutral approach to snack foods by referring to them by what they are can help break any rules or categorical thinking around them.
2. How you talk about snack time:
Sometimes, talking about a “snack time” or “snacking” can be delivered with a lot of implications, too. Kids often associate “snack time” as time to eat their certain packaged snacks they love and refer to as snacks. But who says packaged snack foods can only be eaten at snack time?
This can inadvertently set us up for more challenges around feeding our children when they associate eating certain foods at certain times of the day. Your children might come to expect their favorite packaged snack as part of their snack time, and again, the language around this can form rules around eating.
Instead, we want our children to expect eating times throughout the day that are opportunities for a variety of foods, to connect with loved ones, and to learn how to eat and listen to their bodies.
When we approach all the times we eat and feed our children neutrally, we can create this positive eating environment for our children. In light of this, you might consider referring to meals/snacks equally as “eating times” or “time to eat”.
In this way, a snack is not elevated over a meal and meals might not be looked at as something to avoid (in your child’s eyes). They’re all the same - they’re equally important learning opportunities for your children to eat and feed their bodies.
3. How you talk to your kids when they’re eating snacks:
This last pointer here is to consider how you talk to your children when they’re eating their favorite snack foods. What do you tend to say to your children when they’re digging into their favorite processed and packaged snack foods?
For many parents, seeing their children eat foods they’re uncomfortable with can incite a language response in effort to execute some form of control. For example, “Don’t eat too much of that, it’s not good for you.”, or, “You need to take a bite of something else on your plate before you can have more of {x}.”
While these things are said with good intentions, it can often land on our kids with a different impact. When we put stipulations on snack foods, our children learn that there’s something wrong with them OR there’s something more desirable about these foods because of our own reactions around them.
Stipulations are external rules that don’t allow our children to learn how to self-regulate what feels best in their bodies. Because at the end of the day, the only people living in our children’s bodies are our children.
If we don’t give them neutral opportunities to learn to eat without hindering or micromanaging them, this can communicate the message that we don’t trust them or that they can’t trust themselves. Instead, aim to take a more neutral stance toward your children as they’re eating, especially if they’re eating foods that might make you uncomfortable.
Be aware of anything coming up for you and lean into that with curiosity. I encourage parents to avoid discussing anything about the food itself with their children during eating times and instead, focus on connecting with and engaging your kids in a positive way. This will better support them toward more positive eating experiences overall.
Responding to Endless Snack Requests
Lastly, when it comes to language around snack foods, consider how you respond to your children when you’re faced with endless requests for “More snacks!” and “More snacks!”
It’s easy to have the tendency to shut our children down, to tell them no repeatedly in effort to get them to stop asking.
However, when kids repeatedly hear “no”, it incites feelings of scarcity and deprivation around the food itself, which triggers a stronger desire for whatever food they’re asking for. This often puts parents and children into a vicious cycle with seemingly endless power struggles around snack foods.
The solution is not to give in to your child’s every snack request. That wouldn’t be productive or helpful either. Instead, what you want to do is what I call, “Lead with a Yes”. Meaning, say yes to your child’s request without giving into it at that particular moment.
Essentially, you want to acknowledge and validate your child’s request while deferring it to an upcoming eating time. This can sound like something along the lines of, “Yes, I hear you saying you’d like to eat some goldfish crackers right now. When we eat together after we go to the library, we can have goldfish crackers.” OR, “Yes, you want to eat chips. I’ll put them on the menu with our meal tonight.”
So you’re acknowledging your child’s request, which helps them learn that all foods are safe and acceptable for eating. You’re also letting them know that those foods will be available in the near future, which can help subside any anxieties they may have about accessing those foods.
As you’re faced with constant snacking requests, keep these steps in mind:
Assure your child snacks are always part of their future: By “leading with a yes”, you’re acknowledging your child’s request but not necessarily giving it to them in the moment.
Offer consistently to build trust: Proactively and intentionally plug in your child’s favorite snacks with various meals and snacks to help them trust they’re available.
Be sure to address the root issue if it’s there: Persistent questioning for snack foods can mean your child needs more exposure to them in the context of their eating routine during the day. For more help on this, be sure to check out this post here: “My Child Won't Eat Anything But Junk Food: How to Deal With Snacks”
Make good on your word and follow through: If you’ve promised your kids you’re including cheese puffs, goldfish, or whatever favorite snack they’re into on the menu, make sure to follow through and make it happen. Even if your child forgot and doesn’t ask about it again, take a proactive approach to offer. This builds trust.
Snacks and snacking can feel overwhelming at times for parents. Know you’re not alone, and each brave you’re taking to learn and apply different strategies is supporting your children in building a positive relationship with food.
For more help, be sure to get your free download below, “Simply Snacking Guide: For Busy Moms Raising Intuitive Eaters” - which includes a cheat sheet of the tips you need to keep snacking sane in your home and a sample snack menu.
What questions do you have about this? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!
You’ve got this!