Child Sneaking Sugar? What to Do When You Find Your Kids Sneaking Food
If you’ve found your child sneaking sugar or stumbled on your kids sneaking food, you might be wondering - what should I do now?
On one hand, you probably feel frustrated, even angered to find them sneaking food. You’ve come across wrappers hidden under the bed, in the closet or even on the floor. You might find crumbs scattered across your child’s bed or find food turn up in the most unexpected places around your home.
What gives?
On the other hand, you might sincerely be worried about what this might mean for your kids.
You might be concerned about their health and their overall relationship with food. You may feel bad or guilty yourself as a parent and unsure about how to approach this sensitive situation. You may not know where to turn for help or how to support your child in a way that doesn’t worsen the issue.
You may have even tried different ways to stop the food sneaking.
Maybe you’ve tried locking the cabinets or putting those desirable foods higher up and out of reach. Maybe you’ve banned having those foods in your home altogether or have resorted to restricting your child from having access to certain foods, like candy or sweets.
Out of sight, out of mind - right?
But no matter what you try, it only seems to get worse. Your kids sneaking food may only seem to get more frequent, and whenever they do get access to certain foods, like sweets, it feels like they’re out of control.
So what can you do to help your child in this situation, and how can you make it better, for your children and your family?
Reasons For Kids Sneaking Food
No matter what your situation might be or where you may find yourself, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Your child sneaking sugar doesn’t mean that your child is addicted to sugar or that you kids are going to grow up into unhealthy adults. And finding your child sneaking sugar doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent or are doing something wrong.
In fact, I know you’re doing the best you can with the information and resources you have available to you. And you’re reading this right now because you CARE about your child and only want the best for your family.
That says a lot about you, my friend.
I also want you to know that there are usually some underlying reasons that fuel sneaking behaviors, especially around food.
And before we dive into some of the potential causes, let me preface this section by saying that none….and I mean NONE...of these potential reasons are your fault whatsoever.
This is not about a shame and blame game.
This is about understanding what some of the root causes may be beneath your child’s food sneaking behaviors. Because when we have some awareness around the underlying causes, we can better understand how to move forward in a positive approach that supports your child.
This is essential to supporting your child in building a healthy and positive relationship with all foods.
So with that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the potential causes behind food sneaking behaviors in children.
Why Do Kids Sneak Food?
First, it’s important to acknowledge that some food sneaking is normal.
Yes, that’s right - if you find your child periodically sneaking food or hiding and eating in secret, it may be for no other reason than your child’s learning about limits and testing their boundaries.
Developmentally, children are curious and exploring more about themselves and their world. This is especially true for younger children who may not necessarily understand boundaries and expectations around food or who are still learning about the routines in your home.
Seeing some occasional food sneaking may not necessarily be a cause for concern; however, if it’s becoming repetitive and your child continues to exhibit this behavior, you definitely want to consider some of these underlying causes that may be contributing to food sneaking.
Here are some of the common reasons for kids sneaking food to be aware of, and be sure to read through to the next section, where I’ll address some practical steps you can take to move forward if you’ve found yourself in one of these situations:
Expectations aren’t clear and boundaries aren’t reinforced around food:
Just like in other areas of life, children thrive under structure and routine. The same goes for food. Having boundaries around food is actually a beneficial thing for children, and knowing what to expect around meals and snacks can help children be reassured food is a reliable part of their daily routine.
Having regular meals and snacks are important for children to understand when designated times are for eating. If there’s not a clear boundary around eating times, this can often blur the line in a child’s mind about when is a time for eating and when the kitchen’s “closed”.
The same holds true for reinforcing those boundaries and expectations.
For example, if you ask your child to stay out of the kitchen and pantry between meals and snack times but you don’t reinforce those boundaries when a child bends the rules, this can send confusing messages to a child about expectations. In some instances, this can be a trigger for food sneaking behaviors.
2. Child doesn’t get enough exposure to certain foods:
If kids are excited about eating certain foods but then don’t get much access to them, this can often fuel children to sneak foods or overeat when they do get access to them.
This is common around sweets and desserts, but this can be true for other foods too, like snack foods, including chips, crackers, or any kind of packaged food. If children feel restricted or limited from eating something, this actually fuels their desire to eat that food.
Feelings of deprivation around food are strongly connected to food sneaking, eating foods in secret, hoarding and hiding food. Research has found that controlling feeding practices increase children’s attention to forbidden foods, making them more desirable. Restriction also increases children’s intake of restricted snack foods.
Sometimes, it can feel like a catch 22 - you might keep certain foods away from your child for various reasons: fear of foods being unhealthy, fear that your child might eat too much of them, or fear of having them in your house in general.
However, not having access to certain foods or feelings of being restricted with eating can heighten a child’s desire for those very foods, driving the impulse to sneak food.
For more on this, be sure to check out this blog here: “Kids Eating Too Much Sugar? 3 Reasons Your Child's Obsessed With Sweets”
3. Child doesn’t feel permission to eat certain foods:.
To piggy-back on the last point, if kids feel shamed for eating certain foods or don’t feel full permission from their caregivers to eat, this can also drive the behavior to eat in secret or sneak food and hide while eating.
This can be especially true for children who are in the pre-adolescent age range, who may have had negative experiences around eating or their body sizes.
If there are foods kids are interested in eating but don’t necessarily have intentional or repeated access to them within the context of regular meals and snacks, this can create feelings of shame around eating those foods.
Shame triggers isolation, which can drive children to seek out those foods in secret or to eat while hiding.
4. Child may be looking for emotional connection:
Sometimes, children seek out food as a tangible form of connection and comfort. Eating is intended to be pleasurable and does provide cues to the reward system in our brain. This is NOT a bad thing.
Eating for emotional reasons really gets a bad rap without no real understanding of the driving force behind it. Food is something tangible that can be gratifying, especially to a child who might be feeling isolated, lonely or bored.
At the time of writing this, we’re coming out of a year long quarantine that still doesn’t really have an end in sight. Children have been separated from friends and social support, from which we still don’t understand the long-term consequences. Food might be the source of stability and comfort to a child who’s learning how to cope with a wide range of emotions and struggles.
This can be especially true for children who are in the pre-adolescent/adolescent age range. All this to say, sometimes children are sneaking food or seeking out food as a tangible form of comfort and connection. It’s something important to consider if food sneaking is a repeated behavior you’re observing in your children.
5. Child may be legitimately hungry or going through a growth spurt:
This can be particularly common for pre-adolescent children (ages 7-12). Children are growing, and with that, experiencing rapid body changes. Especially in pre-adolescents, children may need much more food than we anticipate to support their individual growth needs, and this can also vary based on the age, activity level, and development phase of your child.
If children are not getting sufficient food to support their needs, this can also drive the behavior to seek out more food to help satisfy and meet those needs.
This is where it’s important to look at how frequently your child is eating throughout the day and ensuring they have regular meals and snacks, which can provide them with the opportunities to eat what they need to support their overall growth and development. Inadequate intake or feeling too hungry can lead kids to sneak food between eating times.
How to Respond When Your Find Your Kids Sneaking Food
So you’ve caught your child sneaking sugar or your kids sneaking food. Now what?
How you respond is everything.
Again, the tendency may be to want to reprimand your child or to take efforts to correct the problem at hand. However, we don’t just want to treat the symptom.
Remember, recurring food sneaking is likely attributed to an underlying issue. Discovering some of the potential causes around food sneaking and tackling those root causes is going to help you and your child move forward in a more productive way.
The tendency is to want to hide food, remove it from the home or prevent access to the foods that are being eaten in secret. But as we reviewed above, this can potentially make the issue worse.
Taking a more helpful approach can be broken down into 2 phrases:
Phase 1 - Responding to your child sneaking sugar or your kids sneaking food:
First, you want to help your child feel safe, even if the behavior itself is concerning. Remember, this is not your child’s fault. It’s not your fault either.
It’s a behavior that has stemmed from a root. Lashing out in anger or frustration can create shame around food or cause unnecessary feelings of guilt, and we want to try to avoid that as much as possible.
This is actually an important teaching moment for your children, and they won’t be receptive to learning if they’re met with intense feelings of anger and frustration. If you’re feeling angry and frustrated (which is likely to happen after repeated experiences with this behavior in your child) that is okay, too.
The best thing to do is acknowledge what your child is doing and take a break. Come back to your child after you’ve had the chance to cool off and collect your thoughts. When you’re ready, come back to your child and acknowledge what is happening in an objective way and from a neutral perspective.
For example, you can say something along the lines of, “I see you’ve found some candy and you’re eating it by yourself. Can we bring this to the table to eat together?”
Of course, you can customize it however you want for the child in your life. The main idea here is that you want to name what’s happening and create a solution for the moment to help bring down any feelings of shame and neutralize the situation.
Asking your child to bring it to the table is giving them permission to eat it without having to hide it or eat in secret. Telling them you want to eat it with them is also showing them they’re not bad or wrong for wanting to eat something. This is key to helping your child move forward, especially in the moment when you’ve found them sneaking sweets.
And if this is of any consolation to you, I’ve encountered this with my own kids, too - and I’m a dietitian! You can watch the video below to see what I did when I found my toddler sneaking sweets and eating them in secret in her room:
For a more step by step approach on what to do when you find your child sneaking sweets, be sure to check out this blog post here: “Is Your Child Sneaking Sweets or Secretly Eating? Here's What Can Help”
Phase 2 - Address the Root Issue:
The second part of this approach is looking for a long-term solution to help address any potential underlying issues that may be influencing your child’s behavior. It’s important to figure out a solution based on the underlying reasons connected to your child sneaking food.
For example, if you suspect your child may not be eating enough at mealtimes and is legitimately hungry, it’s important to take a look at your meal/snack routine during the course of the day to see if you need to make any tweaks or adjustments.
In general, children need 3 meals and about 2-3 snacks per day.
These should be intentional eating times where your child is taking a pause from what they’re doing to come sit down and eat. Removing distractions and electronics from mealtimes can also help your child better focus on what their bodies need so it’s easier for them to tune into appetite and satiety cues. This can help ensure your child is getting enough to eat throughout the day.
On the other hand, if you suspect your child may need more access to a certain food (or types of foods, like sweets), this may be a good opportunity to begin including these foods more frequently in the context of your child’s meal and snack schedule.
This is especially important if you find your child repeatedly seeking out the same types of foods, like sweets or snack foods. This may be an indicator your child needs more exposure to these foods alongside meals and snacks. You can read more about this approach here: “Feeding Kids Sweets 101: Knowing Your Role When You Feed the Kids”
Proactively liberalizing access to the foods they’re sneaking (especially if they’re specific foods, like sweets) within the context of their meal and snack schedule can help offer exposure with support.
Lastly, if you suspect your child may be gravitating toward food and secretly eating for more emotional reasons, it may be helpful to identify ways you can support and connect with your child about this.
This can be tough, and as alluded to earlier, these times have been especially hard on and challenging for our kids in ways they may not even be able to fully express.
Consider building in some 1:1 time with your child to offer more emotional connection and support, or engage with your child with something that interests them. You may also consider creating snack times where you intentionally connect with your child: sit down, eat with them, talk with them. Carve out 15 minutes of your day where you’re SEEING them, listening and engaging with them. Any effort in this area can help fill up your child’s emotional cup.
You’re Not Alone in This
At the end of the day, understand that there are likely multiple factors that might be influencing your child’s repeated food sneaking behaviors. Understanding what these factors might be and coming up with a plan to address the underlying issues can help resolve these food sneaking behaviors.
It may also be helpful to talk with your child about how you want to move forward (especially older children), and set the expectations for any new approaches in your home around food and mealtimes.
If you need more support with this, be sure to check out my Simplify Sweets Academy, where I guide parents through resolving food sneaking behaviors and sugar obsessions.
Why Consistency in Your Approach With Sweets is Important
If you’ve been taking proactive steps to normalize sugar in your home, you might be wondering: “How long will it take before my child doesn’t seem so obsessed or preoccupied with sweets?”
This is a great question.
First, it’s important to understand that the goal of normalizing sugar in your home is not to get your child to no longer want to eat those foods or to not show any excitement around having sweets. Excitement around eating sweets is not “bad” or “wrong”. Food is intended to be both pleasurable and nourishing.
The goal of normalizing sweets is to prevent these foods from becoming a “forbidden fruit”. Taking a more restrictive approach to sweets often makes these foods MORE desirable. When a food feels off-limits, it can also unintentionally create guilt or shame around eating those foods too.
We want to normalize sweets in our homes so our children can trust these foods are an indefinite part of their future. We also want to give our children opportunities to learn how to become the best experts of their bodies and how to self-regulate a variety of foods, including sweets.
When our children trust sweets are consistently available and given recurring opportunities to have them alongside meals/snacks, they’re better able to eat by what their bodies need. Taking a neutral approach to sweets helps to take these foods off the pedestal and empowers your kids to be more in tune with their bodies.
The key here is to stay as consistent as possible to support your children in building a healthy relationship with all foods, including sweets. This process can take time, but you can trust the process and know you’re taking positive steps forward to help your children.
What are your questions about this? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below - I’d love to hear from you!