Ditch the Switch Witch and Let Your Kids Keep Their Halloween Candy
Ah, the Switch Witch.
A magical solution to the influx of Halloween candy this time of year.
A sensible way of sneaking back all the candy your kids have gathered for something more manageable, like a toy or gift.
How does it work exactly?
What is the Switch Witch?
In case you’re unfamiliar, the Switch Witch is conjured by parents and caregivers, who want to find a reasonable way to manage their kids’ hard-earned stash of Halloween candy.
Kids can leave out their Halloween candy overnight, and the Switch Witch magically arrives to collect their candy and swap it out with a special gift or two. Seems like an even exchange, right?
Except, many kids get buyers remorse after their dealings with the Switch Witch. Knowing what they had and what they could’ve kept as their own, some kids feel regretful for ever giving up their candy in the first place, even outright resentful.
The Switch Witch, or this idea of exchanging candy for something non-edible, like a toy or gift, can take many different forms. Some kids are baited to take their candy to school or the dentist, in return for a prize or promise of some sort. But the premise is the same: Give up your Halloween candy because too much of it isn’t good for you.
While this idea is well-intentioned, it’s often executed with unwanted side effects.
What I mean is, this can sometimes backfire and create more of an issue around the candy than if it were just allowed in the first place. Parents may find that trying to get rid of their children’s candy only makes it more of a battle or creates a power struggle around eating.
Trying to negotiate with a child doesn’t end well - believe me, I know from firsthand experience. Yet, many parents find themselves in this situation when trying to swap out their kids’ candy with things that feel less threatening.
And please hear me out: If you’ve ever done this with your children, I’m no way implying that you’ve done something terribly wrong or have somehow misstepped with your children.
On the contrary, I know that you’re doing the best you can, and I understand that you love your children and only want the best for them. I know that sugar and candy are highly demonized in our culture - there’s so much misinformation and myths circulating around sugar and kids’ health, no wonder parents are anxious about it. As a mom myself, I understand how complicated feeding kids can be, and I want you to know you’re not alone.
I also want you to know that there’s a better way.
Before I share some more effective ideas on how you can manage your children’s candy loads in a way that supports them in building a positive relationship with food, let’s go over some of the reasons why you might want to consider ditching the Switch Witch this year:
Reasons to Ditch the Switch Witch
When kids’ candy disappears or there are negotiations to take away some of their candy, it can sometimes bring up some of these unwanted consequences:
It communicates the wrong message:
The Switch Witch communicates the message that something is bad with keeping/eating candy. When kids aren’t allowed to keep their candy stash, it communicates a subtle message that something is wrong with having a bag of candy or eating candy in general.
Kids might learn a message that candy is “bad”, which can create feelings of guilt or shame around sweets. Kids are literal thinkers as well, so when they pick up on the message that too much candy is “bad” or they can’t be trusted with their candy, they may come to believe that they are bad for wanting or having candy.
2. It can build resentment toward caregivers:
Our kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, and making the bait switch with their candy can make for some grumpy children when they figure out the real ploy at bay.
When kids learn their parents are the ones behind the candy swapping fiasco, it can often create distrust in their caregivers around food.
While this might not seem like a big thing, it can put a damper on the foundation of building a trusting feeding relationship with your child. In order for them to build a positive relationship with all foods, they need to have trust in their caregivers.
3. It can put candy on a pedestal:
Halloween candy is already somewhat of a novelty for children, because it’s something they’re not used to getting all the time (at least in the quantity they get on Halloween).
When kids don’t get the chance to fully explore it and learn how to manage it, it can elevate it on a pedestal for them, making it even more enticing and exciting. Allowing kids to be fully immersed in it without trying to take some of it back helps to take some of the power away from the candy stash.
4. It can make kids more obsessive about candy:
Imagine you gave your child a brand, new toy to play with, but then, after 10 minutes of playing, you took it back and hid it away. Your child would like to become obsessed with finding that toy and playing with it again.
We naturally want the things we’re told we can’t have, and food is no different. When kids are allowed to trick-or-treat and see their candy stashes, but then, aren’t allowed to access it or eat their candy, they can begin to obsess over it even more.
5. It can create suspicion or distrust around food:
Disappearing candy or any manipulation around food can make kids suspicious, even distrustful of food in general.
When it comes to candy, if kids can’t trust that sweets will consistently be a regular part of their future, they're more likely to overeat the candy when they do have access to it, simply because they can’t trust they’ll always have access to it.
Lack of trust around candy can cause a child to eat for external reasons (like fear that candy won’t be available later), rather than pay attention to their internal cues that help regulate their sugar intake..
6. It can increase risk of food sneaking:
Again, when candy is not made accessible, or kids know it may be hidden away somewhere, they’re more likely to develop food sneaking behaviors. When kids don’t get access to the foods they want to eat, it can trigger a feeling of deprivation.
Deprivation can in turn lead to behaviors to help rectify this feeling, like sneaking candy or eating it in secret. Not feeling that there’s permission from caregivers to eat sweets can also lead to sneaking and/or eating in secret.
7. It doesn’t let kids to learn how to self-regulate all foods:
We live in a world where sweets exist, and if kids are given the chance to eat a variety of foods, like candy, they won’t learn how to self regulate an amount that feels best for their bodies.
Kids have the innate ability to self-regulate all foods, but when not given the opportunity to try, it makes it harder for them to learn. When we try to manage what and how much our kids are eating, especially sweets, we rob them of the opportunity to learn how to eat intuitively and honor their own bodies.
Letting Your Kids Keep Their Candy
We want our kids to trust that all foods are part of their future, especially sweets like candy.
So how can you support your children in building a positive relationship with all foods, including their Halloween candy, all year round?
First, as an alternative to the Switch Witch, I would encourage you to allow your kids to keep their Halloween candy stash. This is an important step to giving your children the opportunity to learn how to self-regulate their sweet intake and to emotionally neutralize the experience of having and eating candy. This can be foundational in helping them build a positive relationship with all foods.
Here are some other steps you can take in lieu of the Halloween Switch Witch:
Legalize candy in your home: Give your child permission to eat and enjoy their candy without a side serve of guilt or shame. Negotiating with your kids over their candy or trying to get them to give up part of it can unintentionally send the message that there’s a reason why they’re not allowed to eat candy. This can plant a seed of guilt around the experience of eating candy, which can follow them throughout their lives. Don’t require your child to earn their candy or use it as a reward. Give them permission to eat it simply because it’s something they enjoy. Remember: legalizing sugar in your home doesn’t mean you don’t care about your child’s health. On the contrary, in doing so, you’re making it possible for them to learn how to have a positive relationship with sweets, how to eat them without feeling guilty or bad about themselves. If you need more help with this, be sure to check out this post here: “Is it Okay to Reward Kids With Sweets and Candy?”
Allow regular access to candy within the structure of meals and snacks: Especially around Halloween, where the influx of candy may be higher than normal, kids actually need more frequent access to it in order to feel less obsessive about it. Allowing it within the context of your children’s regular meals and snacks can help neutralize the experience of eating candy and give them better opportunities to learn how to self-regulate their candy intake. This is an effective way to help your child enjoy sweets in a manner that offers both structure and support. For more support around how to allow sweets with meals and why this is a helpful strategy, be sure to read this post here: “7 Practical Reasons Why To Offer Your Kids Dessert With Dinner”
Let your kids pick the candy from an amount set by you: As you're navigating feeding your children and all the different situations that may arise, keep this mantra in mind: “Parents provide, child decides' '. Meaning, you’re in charge of deciding what you’re offering your child to eat, and your child gets to decide, what and how much to eat from the food you’ve provided. So when you’re allowing Halloween candy with meals, you can decide an amount from which your child can choose. For example, you might tell your kids they can pick out 3 pieces of candy to eat with their meal, and then, allow your kids to pick out which pieces they’d like to have with the meal you’re eating. Once they’ve chosen their candy and you’re sitting down to eat, remember - the ball is now in their court. They get to decide what and how much to eat from the food available, including their candy. Some kids might go for the candy first, and that’s all they decide to eat. Some kids might save it for last. While others might go around eating their candy and other foods. You can trust them to eat within the context of the meals you’ve provided.
Keep the candy stash visible: Another important way of building trust with your kids around candy and sweets is to keep it visible. The tendency is to hide away candy or any other sweets that we feel uncomfortable with our kids eating. But if your child senses something is hidden away, it only increases the mystery and specialness around those foods. So when it comes to your child’s Halloween candy stash, have an agreed upon place where you keep the candy. Maybe it’s on a pantry shelf or somewhere on the kitchen counter. Set some healthy boundaries with your child by communicating your expectations ahead of time. For example, you might say something along the lines of, “We’re going to keep your candy bag right here. When it’s time to eat, you can come and pick out some pieces to have with your meal. If you can’t follow the rules, then we have to put your candy bag away.” When kids are part of the decision making process and given the opportunity to be responsible, it can help boost their confidence, too.
Face your own anxieties around sugar: Lastly, if you find yourself feeling anxious or uncomfortable with your child and the Halloween candy situation, please know you’re not alone. Many times, parents attempt to manage their children’s Halloween candy haul due to their own discomforts around sweets, and having awareness of this is important for helping you and your children move forward in a positive way. Keep the big picture in mind and remember that hiding your child’s candy or opting for the “Switch Witch” might feel like a solution, but it’s usually only a temporary option with long-term consequences. Ultimately, by addressing your own stressors around sugar, you can help your child learn how to have a positive relationship with all foods. If you need more help with this, check out this post here: “How to Trust Your Kids With Sweets When You're Uncomfortable With Sugar”
Special Circumstances With Candy Swapping
There may be situations where you and/or your child do want to give away extra candy or it’s necessary to swap out some candies that might be unsafe for your child.
My encouragement is to do so in a way that involves your children rather than doing something behind their backs that they’re unaware of.
For example, at my kids’ school, they do collect extra candy over the course of a couple weeks after Halloween to ship to troops overseas. That is a cause I can get behind to help spread a little Halloween fun and love to our military. And honestly, my kids don’t ever eat their entire stash of Halloween candy. They maybe get through about half of it, if even, and so we do have a lot of extra candy laying around the house.
I make sure to have a conversation with them about whether or not they’d like to keep their extra candy and if they’d like to donate the extras to other people. Sometimes, we buy bags of candy for them to take to school and donate so it doesn’t put extra pressure on them to do so. When we make them part of the conversation and allow them to make the decision, it doesn’t feel like something they were tricked into doing and tends to go over much better.
Another situation that may come up is the instance where your child may have food allergies or a medical condition that doesn't allow for free consumption of Halloween sweets.
I’ve seen some parents resort to the Switch Witch as a way to take back unsafe candies and exchange them for a toy or something of that nature. In this circumstance, you of course need to protect your child from foods or candies that could be harmful.
But again, I don’t recommend tricking them in the process or manipulating them to exchange their candy, as this can trigger feelings of deprivation around the candy.
As a more effective option, you might have candy substitutes that are safer for your child to eat that you can swap out with candies that may be unsafe.
Having an honest conversation with your kids about why they might not be able to have certain candies can be helpful, too. You want to remind your kids that while they might be unable to eat certain candies to help keep their bodies safe, there are other candies they can safely eat and enjoy. Allowing them to be part of the conversation and decision making, especially around candy, is important to helping them build a positive relationship with food.
Keeping the Big Picture in Mind
I know Halloween can sometimes be overwhelming for parents because of the candy situation. When you find yourself stressing, keep focused on the big picture.
Letting your children fully experience situations with a higher amount of sugar and sweets, like Halloween, is important for them to learn how to become competent eaters. You don’t want your kids to grow up without knowing how to listen to and trust their bodies in these types of situations. And while it might make you feel better to tightly control the situation, you may be depriving them of the opportunity they need to build a positive relationship with all foods for the long-term.
Remember: feeding kids is a marathon, not a sprint. You don’t want to implement short-term solutions that give temporary fixes while dampening the more important, long-term goals.
If you’re a parent or caregiver needing more support around how to help your kids manage their Halloween candy in a way that supports them in building a positive relationship with food, join me for my FREE upcoming workshop! I’ll be dishing out all the strategies you need to keep the sanity in your home this Halloween!
