Rebuilding Your Identity and Self-Worth in Motherhood

I know things weren’t always like this, mama.

Your days weren’t always shaped around the ebbs and flows of tiny humans who need constant nourishment, attention, and naps.

Before the mom uniform of yoga pants and sweatshirts with spit-up, there were stylish garments that took up space in your wardrobe.

Time was leisurely spent on things you may have wanted to do, and strolling the aisles at Target and taking hot showers were commonplace, not a luxury.

From major things, like your marriage and career, to everyday basics, like getting ready or feeding yourself, becoming a mother shifts everything, leaving it’s touch on all you do. In both big and small ways.

Motherhood changes you, fundamentally altering your identity overnight. Nothing can quite ready you for the sheer, overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother, no matter how much you prepare.

Suddenly the way you view the world is transformed by the child you are now mothering. Your decisions and choices are informed by being a mother, first and foremost.

The moment your baby is born, everything you thought you knew about yourself and who you are has changed, and it continues to evolve over the course of your motherhood seasons. These changes bring with it a complex experience of emotions - from inexplicable joy to utter exhaustion and everything in between.  

And in the process of birthing babies and raising little ones, teaching and consoling, guiding and loving in the day to day, it is easy to feel as though you have lost a bit of who you once were. You may not remember who you were outside of being a mother or what life might look like while not caring for children.

But even the wandering are not lost.

You are not just a mom. Though your identity is being molded by motherhood, your innate sense of worth is unchanged.

It’s perfectly okay (and normal) to come to terms with the fact that you do lose a sense of who you are in this motherhood journey. It’s real to go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and not knowing who you really are along the way.

But no matter how things change as you navigate the course of being a mother, there are aspects about you and your identity that will always remain true.

You are worthy.
You are inherently beautiful.
You are loved and capable of loving.
You are valuable, just as you are.
You are strong, courageous and able to do hard things.
You are an overcomer.
You have hope.

So when everything seems hazy and you can’t remember what day it is or the last time you slept a solid 8 hours straight, fall back on these truths as your North Star, and you will always be guided home to you.

When you feel like you have given up everything, remember it is not in vain. In the process of letting go of the old way of doing things, you have gained new purpose and perspective. You are becoming a new person, and it’s okay to let yourself not have it all figured out. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful, and you don’t have to have all the answers to find meaning.

You’ve got this, mama.