Snack Time Versus Grazing Table: How to Snack Better as a Family
What do you think about when you hear the word “snacks” or “snacking”?
For me, those words take me back to my early college years, where I was still figuring out how to feed myself actual meals.
So many nights, I’d miss the cafeteria meal times and would have to fend for myself for dinner. This usually looked like munching on pretzels and goldfish crackers while trying to cram in my study sessions through the early hours of the morning. When I could bum a ride to Target, it looked like late night shopping sprees in the snack aisles, buying any convenience foods I could eat without much effort.
Needless to say, this was somewhat a chaotic way to keep myself fed. Making meals for myself felt like a chore, so I tried to get by by snacking on what I could and eating out of the bags of my favorite packaged foods.
I learned early on that if I was going to take better care of myself, eating needed to become more intentional, not a mindless activity I pushed to the backburner. Getting into better rhythms around eating make food more reliable and helped me get into a routine of feeding myself regularly.
Then I became a mom.
If you’re a parent, you can likely understand how taking care of tiny humans can pose a tricky balancing act with caring for yourself, too.
I had to relearn how to care for myself all over again after months of being in survival mode and snacking on whatever were the easiest foods I could eat with one hand, while I carried my babies in the other arm.
So often as parents, we make meals for our families but neglect to sit down and eat actual food, too. When we’re on the go, it’s easier to grab snack bags and graze on whatever we can get our hands on without taking the time to really feed ourselves and check in with our bodies.
At the time of writing this, we’re emerging from a worldwide pandemic, which has left many families figuring out how to virtually school their children while working from home. Any type of eating routine has gone out the window as so many of us have tried to survive the unknown and juggle multiple responsibilities with little support.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, where eating feels a bit chaotic in your home and for your family. Maybe you’ve heavily relied on snack foods to get by with feeding yourself and your children and you’re ready to make eating times more of a priority in your home.
Let me be the first to say that no matter what you’ve had to do to survive, you are a good parent.
Heck, even if you’ve had to give the kids a bag of goldfish and put them in front of the television so you could get something done - you know what? Still a good parent. You’ve done everything you can to keep your kids safe and fed. That alone shows how much you care, no matter how it might look on the outside.
When you feel like you have the mental capacity to create more of a predictable rhythm around food, you might consider the benefits of having intentional eating times. Especially with snacking. We’re often good about our regular meals: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But snacking is something that often falls to the wayside. We might leave our kids to fend for themselves. We might brush snacking aside as unnecessary. Or we might find ourselves or our children grazing and eating a little bit here and there from the packaged snacks in the pantry.
However, over long periods of time, this approach may not be the best way to care for yourself and your children. This can also send the message to our children that feeding our bodies isn’t important or worth prioritizing.
When we deny ourselves the time and effort to nourish ourselves, our children are internalizing the messages that they are also undeserving of the same.
With that in mind, I want to give you some practical tips to help you get into a better snacking routine in your home. The benefits of this include:
Less chaos around food
More predictability around eating times
Modeling of healthier eating habits to your children
More intention and mindfulness around eating
Times of connection as a family
Let’s dive into this together so you can simplify snacking in your home and bring more peace around food to your family.
Grazing Table Versus Snack Times: What’s the Difference?
First, it’s important to address the elephant in the room. What exactly is the difference between snacking and grazing, and why does it matter?
When I think of grazing, I think of a grazing table: food options that are available for grazing, where you can nibble on a little bit of this or that as you please, coming and going to sample all the different foods that might be available.
Except, grazing in our homes with our children isn’t nearly as fancy, right?
It might look like one kid running into the pantry and grabbing a handful of chips before running back outside, leaving a trace of crumbs as they go. It might look like several opened bags of packaged snacks around the counter or living room that the kids are periodically eating from as the day goes on or a plate of unfinished food left on the table.
Grazing doesn’t usually involve a start and a finish time. It’s like a buffet open indefinitely.
There’s usually other things happening simultaneously alongside the grazing. For kids, this might look like playing, watching movies or being on their devices.
As a parent, you might try to get in a few bites of something edible while you’re paying the bills, cleaning up the house or on a call for work. It’s the classic form of multitasking, which usually means something important is being neglected in effort to get other things done. That something is feeding yourself, my friends.
Snacking is often used interchangeably with grazing. Which is why I like to refer to it as an “eating time” instead.
Eating times, to me, are times where you’re intentionally taking a break from whatever you’re doing to feed yourself. Think about your children at school, who are given designated eating times for snack and lunch.
It’s a pause from the busyness of life to check in with your body and eat something you enjoy to sustain you until your next eating time.
Eating times involve proactiveness in planning and intention with feeding. In contrast to grazing, it’s carrying one task at a time and sending the message to yourself and your kids that you deserve to stop and nourish yourselves. Eating regularly is important, and having eating times during the course of your day designate that, whereas grazing on the other hand, is more of an afterthought.
So why do intentional eating times matter for you and your family?
Why Intentional Eating Times Matter For Your Family
There are several benefits to creating intentional eating times for your family, both for yourself and for your children in your home.
And again, so often as parents, it’s easier to do things for our children but not for ourselves. However, I hope you can see the benefits of adopting more rhythm around eating times in your home, not just for your children, but for you too.
So let’s talk about the kids first because so often, this is the area that feels like more of a struggle for families.
When our kids are able to graze and snack as they please throughout the day, this doesn’t really give them the opportunity to build up their appetites between eating times. I know this to be true from firsthand experience.
Grazing makes it challenging for our children to register hunger or fullness in their bodies because there’s a steady stream of food coming in throughout the day.
Usually with grazing, it’s not enough food to actually make us feel satisfied. It’s a little bit here and there, which doesn’t really allow us to eat to satiety. On top of that, grazing usually involves multitasking of some sort, so eating while doing other things may make it harder to listen to what’s going on in their bodies.
Most parents I talk to want their kids to be able to eat at mealtimes. Meals often offer more substantial foods and a variety of nutrient options.
However, for a child who’s been grazing through the day or over the course of the afternoon once coming home from school, this can sabotage their appetites for any meals. They may be coming to the table without an appetite, which can decrease their desire to eat or willingness to try any of the foods that have been provided.
This can turn into a vicious cycle, where kids are refusing to eat at mealtimes and parents are responding with stress or frustration. Pressure or stress at mealtimes can make a child more unwilling to sit or eat at mealtimes or to make them more likely to avoid the meal altogether and ask for a snack soon after the mealtime is over.
With that in mind, one of the major benefits of designated eating times can decrease the mindless grazing between meals, which can support your children in building up their appetites between eating times.
On this note, let me make something clear. I’m not suggesting that you need to let your children go hungry as a means of trying to get them to eat their meals. That’s not what I’m insinuating whatsoever.
I do believe that children (and grown-ups) need and benefit from regular snacks between meals. Children especially need opportunities to eat about every 2 hours, which includes 3 meals, and usually 3 snacks between those meal times.
You can read more about the benefits of snacking here: “My Child Won't Eat Anything But Junk Food: How to Deal With Snacks”
What I am suggesting is that kids benefit from having healthy boundaries around eating times, where there’s a finish and an end to that eating time - whether it’s a snack or a meal. This can support your children in better learning how to self-regulate their intake and eat in accordance with what their bodies need.
When children are able to experience slight hunger (again, not starving by any means but the subtle emptiness that comes when our bodies are nearing eating times), this allows them to come to eating times with a better ability to learn to eat and listen to what their bodies need.
It also helps them learn satiety too and to be able to eat to a place where they feel content and satisfied. Again, boundaries around food doesn’t equivocate to restriction. It’s simply making eating times intentional and giving our children more structure around eating, just like they might have at school, for example, where eating times are designated and allowed during certain times.
For more help setting up a meal routine in your home, be sure to check out this blog post here: “Build Healthy Habits For Kids With a Feeding Schedule”
Another benefit of having regular and consistent eating times throughout the day and taking leadership in creating this predictable routine for your children is that it supports children in trusting food is reliable for them.
When kids can trust and understand that regular food is coming and available to them, it takes the pressure off them in so many ways. Many children who don’t understand or know when eating times are coming or available may develop more erratic behaviors around food. This could look like food sneaking, hiding or eating food in secret or binging on food when it is available.
As parents and caregivers, when we don’t leave it to our children to figure out when and what to eat, it supports them in better building a healthy relationship with food.
Trusting reliable access to food gives our children the opportunity to focus their attention more on how their bodies feel and to create positive associations at eating times, which is foundational for building a positive and healthy relationship with all food.
Something that is true for both children and adults are the physical and mental benefits of regular eating times throughout the day. When you’re feeding your body regularly and taking breaks from your day to nourish and feed yourself, you’re able to care for your body in a positive way.
Here are some of the benefits of having regular eating times throughout your day (both for you and your children):
More stable blood sugar levels, which promotes steady energy and mood levels throughout the day (Avoiding hangriness and irritability!)
Better ability to concentrate and function
Overall improved relationship with food and your body
Better able to self-regulate your food intake throughout the day
Another key thing here is the messages you’re signaling and modeling to your children when you take intentional eating breaks.
As it is, our children are learning the messages that eating and feeding ourselves is not a priority compared to all the competing activities we have during the course of the day, whether it’s checking our phones or doing all the other tasks that need to get done.
On the other hand, when we’re deliberate about taking a pause or rest from our normal activities to feed ourselves and our children intentionally, it sends a powerful message to our children that this is something important to prioritize.
This can help model healthier habits for them around food, where they learn to take the time to feed themselves regularly and not push it to the backburner of their days. As I like to say, eating is the most valid form of self-care, and getting enough to eat with intentional eating times during the course of the day is the best way to model this, for ourselves and our children.
So knowing some of these important benefits of eating regularly throughout the day and establishing eating times for yourself and your family, how can you take steps toward this?
Let’s look at some of the easy things you can do to move from grazing to more intentional eating.
How to Snack Better as a Family
So outside of creating an intentional time during your day to snack, what are some other ideas for helping you move from simply snacking out of a bag to enjoying your eating experience?
Here are a couple suggestions to keep in mind to make the most out of these opportunities with you and your kids:
Keep it Simple:
As mentioned before, one of the common deterring factors from having official “snack times” is that it feels like it can add to the overwhelming mental load you already have of feeding your children regularly throughout the day.
Snacks don’t have to be a big production.
Start by simply putting together the foods you already have on hand. One approach that can also help simplify snack times is trying to serve your food family style. This means, you don’t need to individually plate out food for your children. Consider putting out food in bowls or on plates and offering them on the table for your children to self-serve from what you’ve made available.
In this way, you can simplify how many dishes are involved and the process of portioning out food for everyone. This can also be an effective way to support your children in learning to self-regulate their intake while building on their eating skills. For more on the benefits of family style, be sure to check out this blog here: “How Family Style Dining Makes Feeding Kids Easier at Mealtime”
Try keeping a list of snack options on your fridge so you have something quick to refer to and rotate through.
Make sure to get your free snack guide at the bottom of this blog post - I’ve included a free snack idea menu for you to have on hand when you’re feeling stuck in a snacking rut.
2. Build a Snack With Staying Power
When it comes to snacking versus grazing, what are some key differences?
Even just the act of unwrapping your packaged snacks can be a powerful move to help you be more intentional about feeding yourself.
This can be really helpful for your kids too.
Simply unwrap whatever packaged snack you might be eating together and put it out on a plate. If you’re serving family style, you can put whatever packaged snack you might be eating in a larger bowl or plate and offer it on the table for self-serving. For example, putting out a bowl of chips, popcorn or pretzels as part of a snack.
However, packaged snacks alone don’t offer much staying power.
Meaning, we (kids AND grownups) can eat a high volume of a packaged snack and not necessarily feel satisfied. This may mean it’s going to be harder for us to make it to the next eating time without feeling like we need to snack on something else.
One solution to help create a snack with better “staying power” is to try out the framework of the 3 - P’s: Packaged snack + Protein + Produce. For more simple snack time ideas, check out this recipe post here.
Adding in some protein and fiber to your packaged snack can help cue more satiety and keep you satisfied between eating times so you’re not feel the need to continue grazing between meals.
Your free snack guide (available to download at the bottom of this blog) contains examples of easy snacks that fit this framework that you can easily put together for you and your children.
3. Focus on Connecting and Engaging
Another key difference between grazing and having intentional eating times has to do with the connection piece.
For example, grazing is often done while multitasking and juggling other things. Whereas an intentional eating time offers opportunities for connection with the people you love.
And yes, it’s an added step to sit down together to share a snack. However, this can be a valuable opportunity to connect and engage with your children.
Try to think of mealtimes as more than a transaction: you offer something for them to eat and then expect them to eat what you’ve offered. This approach, while often necessary and a default way for getting through motherhood, leaves out the critical component of eating times, which is the connection piece.
Feeding children is about building a trusting relationship and strengthening the bond you have with your kids. Having pauses during your day to eat offers a time for reconnecting, modeling and supporting your children in building a healthy and positive relationship with food.
I know this perspective can be hard when feeding feels like a chore. It can get monotonous at times and feel like another thing we have to get done and check off our list.
However, if you can pivot your approach and consider these times as ways to connect and engage with your family and loved ones, it’ll make these eating times more enjoyable for everyone. Don’t forget: positive eating experiences are the foundation of building a positive relationship with food. No eating time is too insignificant for contributing to this.
Aim for Progress Not Perfection
Just keep in mind that this is not about perfection.
You don’t want to get so hung up on how or what you’re eating that you miss the bigger picture: intentionally pausing to feed your body and connecting with your children in the process.
Remember, they’ll benefit from your modeling and by you demonstrating intentionality with feeding yourself regularly. It doesn’t have to look a certain way, and there may be times where you can’t make it happen.
That’s okay, too!
You’re doing the best you can with the information and resources you have available every day. Every step of progress is something worth celebrating!
Should I Offer My Kids Night Time Snacks?
Lastly, I wanted to address a common question I get from parents about snack times, and that has to do with a bedtime snack. Should you offer your child a snack at nighttime?
Well, this may depend on a few different factors. There’s not a one size fits all approach to this, and every family is going to have different circumstances. At the end of the day, it’s important to do what feels right for you and your family.
However, in deciding this, here are some factors to consider:
Timing between dinner and bedtime: How much time has passed between dinnertime and bedtime? As a general rule of thumb, if it’s longer than 1.5-2 hours between dinner and bedtime, you might consider offering a bedtime snack and one last eating opportunity for the day. This can help ensure your child isn’t going to bed hungry and that you’ve offered them a scheduled time to feed their bodies before transitioning to bedtime.
Child behaviors: Is your child waking up in the middle of the night and asking for a snack or complaining about being hungry? Or upon waking up, does your child appear anxious about eating breakfast straight away? This could be an indicator that your child may need a snack before bed, again, just as a way to help bolster their nutritional needs.
Eating times throughout the day: One last thing to consider are the eating opportunities your child has had throughout the day. Generally, kids need 3 meals and about 2-3 snacks during the course of a day. If your child didn’t get these regular opportunities to eat during the day, it may be helpful to offer a nighttime snack to ensure they got what they needed.
Lastly, some things to keep in mind about bedtime snacks:
Offer something filling, not thrilling: Packaged snacks are great to incorporate into your child’s eating routines throughout the day, but I recommend avoiding them for night time. Consider offering something you know your child will eat if they’re hungry. Some good night time snack options could look like fruit with milk, or a toasted bread with peanut butter. Keep it basic and follow the same principles of offering at the table and minimizing any outside distractions.
Make it part of your child’s bedtime routine: If you are offering a bedtime snack, make it part of your child’s routine so they can more easily transition into bedtime. For example, you might consider having a snack, brushing teeth, reading a book and then going to bed. Having it be part of their routine offers more structure, and once you’ve offered the snack, you move on to the next step of getting ready for bedtime. This can be helpful for children who may dawdle or stall as a procrastination tactic before bed. :)
Assure kids more food is coming in the morning: If you’ve offered a bedtime snack and have put your child to bed but are met with more requests for food, be gentle yet firm in deferring to the next eating time (which is breakfast). Again, kids sometimes ask for food and snacks at bed to delay having to go to sleep. If you’re dealing with this and have already offered an opportunity for eating a bedtime snack, you can assure your child they’ll have more to eat in the morning.
I hope this helps give you some encouragement and practical tips to help pivot your approach to snacking to make it more positive in your home.
Any thoughts or questions - put them in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!
And don’t forget to download your free snack guide below for more helpful tips and suggestions.
Cheering for you, friend!