5 Things to Focus on when Feeding Your Family in Times of Uncertainty

Image courtesy of Third Strand Photography

There is no question that we’re navigating uncertain times through the novel coronavirus pandemic. 

This has certainly brought new changes and challenges to normal parts of our everyday life, like eating and feeding our kids. 

It has broken my heart to hear so many moms share about their fears of having lack of food or feeling inferior for not being able to prepare more wholesome meals for their families. 

In light of the global challenges that we’re currently facing, I felt like it was important to share my thoughts on this situation. 

Like so many of you, we are doing our job to help flatten the curve and to slow the rapid spread of this illness by self-quarantining our family and keeping ourselves at home as much as possible. 

While before this, we would frequently drop in the nearby grocery stores to pick-up produce or random food items throughout the week, we’re really trying to limit how much we leave the house. 

When we do go to the grocery store, we try to limit it to once per week if possible, and only one of us will go (either myself or my husband).

As a family of 7, this has forced more creativity with the food staples that we’re relying on to keep our family fed. For example, fresh produce in our house goes quick. 

My kids love fruit, so any fresh produce we buy is usually eaten within a couple days. We’ve bought more frozen and canned fruits and vegetables in order to stretch out the availability of produce we do have, while adding variety and nutrition to meals. 

We are relying so much more on processed foods than ever before to fill our cupboards and our bellies, including canned, frozen and convenience foods. 

Honestly, I’ve never felt so grateful to have access to these foods, especially during a time like this, but I know not everyone feels this way.

It’s saddened me to see how much food shaming has been happening, in light of the changes that we’re all experiencing. 

Many moms I’ve been talking to are worried about what it might mean for their families' health during a time where we are more heavily relying on processed foods to get us through this time. 

This is why I think it’s important to remember that health is a relative term that is used with a narrowing definition. When we think of health as something that is only defined by the foods we eat, we exclude so many other influencing factors that are also important.

Being healthy has been reduced to mean eating fresh, homemade foods, organic food, or always having a variety of food. 

More than ever, we really need to zoom out to keep a bird’s eye view of what health means for us during this challenging time. 

Because health is so much more than just the foods we eat. 

And eating more processed foods due to the COVID-19 pandemic (because that’s what's accessible) does not mean that you and your family will become unhealthy. 

Let’s debunk some of these myths that are circulating so that you can feel confident in how you are feeding your family during these unprecedented times. 

Is Processed Food Bad for You? 

Processed food is a broad term that includes any foods that have been changed from their original form. 

Examples of processed foods can include food that is: 

• Frozen

• Canned

• Dried

• Pasteurized

• Baked

As you can see, a LOT of the foods we commonly use fall under this category, whether or not there’s a pandemic. 

So why the bad wrap? 

Fear mongering propaganda wrapped up in diet culture has created unnecessary shame around food. This looks a lot like tying your morality to food in some way - like, you’re a good person if you don’t eat processed food and you’re a bad person if you do. 

Now, let’s look how this extends in parenting. 

Does this sound familiar? You’re a good mom if you feed your kids lots of fresh produce, home cooked meals and organic food. You’re a bad mom if you feed your kids processed food. 

Or more commonly: Your kids will grow up to be unhealthy if you feed them processed food. 

This is the false narrative around food that we allow to dictate our eating experiences with our families. 

So many moms I know share how guilty or ashamed they feel for resorting to frozen food or fast foods to feed their families, and I can’t help but feel like diet culture has completely warped the idea of what it means to raise a healthy child. 

The stronghold of these false beliefs around food are especially evident during times of uncertainty (like what we’re experiencing with COVID-19). 

When we are forced to resort to foods with longer shelf-life or are using foods that we might not normally reach for, our beliefs and feelings about those foods come right to the surface. 

Let’s stop this right in its tracks, shall we? 

First of all, your morality as a human being and your abilities as a parent are NOT tied to the foods you feed your children. 

It’s a privilege to have regular access to food to feed ourselves and our families. The great news is that we do have a wide availability of food options from which we can nourish our families. 

Will processed food affect my child’s nutrition? 

What research has shown us is that regular and consistent access to a variety of foods, pleasant mealtime experiences, and a trusting feeding relationship with caregivers have been more impactful for a child’s overall health. 

These things are far bigger than just the food itself. 

When you are focusing on providing these things for your children, you are optimizing their health and overall nutrition intake. 

Is processed food less nutritious? 

There’s statements thrown around out there about how processed food is less nutritious than “real” food.

First of all, food is food. The only food that I don’t consider to be “real” food is the pretend food in my toddler’s play kitchen. 

So now that we’ve got that out of the way, what about the nutritious part? 

Processed foods can contribute the nutrients our bodies need to thrive, including the nutrition to support your children’s overall growth. 

Carbohydrates, fats, protein - these mainstay macronutrients are part of a variety of processed foods and convenient meals that we regularly consume. 

Canned and frozen produce can also be a great way to get in more variety and optimize your nutrition. 

Did you know that frozen produce is often more nutrient dense than their fresh counterparts? That is because frozen produce is picked and frozen at its optimal time of ripeness, which locks in nutrition at the peak time! 

While there’s a LOT more I could say on this topic, the main point is that you’re not failing as a parent for needing to utilize more processed foods, especially during times of uncertainty. 

You may need to stretch out your groceries by relying on meals that you can easily make from ingredients in your pantry or from convenience foods that you can pull out of your freezer. 

Whatever scenario you may be facing as a family, please remember that your health consists of many different factors that go beyond the food itself. 

Stress about food is more damaging for your health than any food you could possibly eat. The same thing goes for your children as well. 

So rather than worrying about the minutiae of nutrition, try to keep these things in mind while you navigate feeding your children during these uncertain times:

1.Remember that Having adequate access to food is a privilege: 

When you’re used to being able to access a wide variety of food freely, it’s easy to forget that this is not a benefit everyone has.

Food scarcity is a real thing in our communities, and many families face the real stressor of not knowing if they’ll have enough food in a day. 

I’m also reminded that fresh food is something that many families don’t have regular access to - outside of these particular circumstances with the coronavirus. For many families, processed foods are a staple of their well-being and ability to eat.

When you find yourself worrying about using processed food - please remind yourself that food is FOOD. Having access to these foods allows us to feed our families and have more flexibility with keeping our bodies nourished. 

This is especially true during times of uncertainty, when navigating mental health challenges, after having a baby, and when dealing with time and financial constraints. You are not an inferior person or parent for relying on these foods at any point. 

When we can focus on the abundance of what we do have available, it’s easier to shift from a position of scarcity and fear to one of gratitude. 

If you have a pantry and fridge full of food to feed your family, you are privileged.

2. Focus on building a trusting feeding relationship with your child:

This is the most impactful thing you can do for your child to have a healthy relationship with food, outside of ensuring that they have adequate and consistent access to food. 

This means that you are focused on doing your jobs in the feeding relationship and trusting your child to do her parts with eating. 

To learn more about this, please be sure to check out these posts here: 

• The Feeding Relationship: How to Build Trust With Your Child Around Food

• Feeding Kids: How Trust Can Help Your Child Feel Confident With Food

• Eating Veggies Won’t Save Your Child’s Health, But Here’s What Can Help

Whatever food your child may be eating, she needs you to trust her innate capabilities to self-regulate the amount of food she needs based on what she’s provided. 

When we try to do our kids’ feeding jobs for them, this is when stress and chaos can result. 

When looking at the bigger picture, when a child is not trusted to eat what she needs to grow at a rate that is right for her, she is more likely to be at risk for eating disorders, body image issues, and low self-esteem. 

The way you engage with your children when feeding them is far more impactful than the actual food itself. 

3. Create positive eating experiences at mealtimes:

I recently saw a quote that said, “Most young kids will remember how their home felt during the coronavirus panic more than anything specific about the virus.”

This reminded me about how important family meal times can be for a child to create safety and structure. 

Rather than worrying about the minutiae of the nutrition or food that your child is eating, it’s more important to focus on creating positive eating experiences. 

If the mealtimes are stressful, your child will begin to have negative associations with food and eating. 

If your child feels pressured to eat or is worried about having to eat something she’s not ready to try, this will trigger anxiety around mealtimes. 

Instead, make mealtimes a safe place for your child to explore food on her terms and to respond to her innate feeding cues that help her regulate her intake. 

Let your meals be times that your family can gather and reconnect over the joy of eating.

This will create peace in your family, especially during times of anxiety.

These are the memories that will last with your child, far beyond the stressors that are out of our control. 

4. Stick to a meal and snack routine: 

It can be challenging, even daunting, to create any sense of structure with food during a time that feels chaotic and uncertain. 

However, keep in mind that kids do better with predictable rhythms and routine throughout their days. 

When kids understand that they will have regular access to food throughout the day in the form of meals and snacks, this can help them feel safe and secure. 

This is also important for helping YOU keep your sanity, especially if you’ll have your kids home more frequently during a time of intentional social distancing. 

Having a meal and snack routine can also help you better manage the food resources you have; in addition, this can help your child come to meals and snacks with an appetite. When a child is allowed to graze throughout the day, she may not be hungry for regular meals. 

Lastly, a big part of having a meal routine is having consistent access to food. This can definitely be challenging if your family is facing food insecurity. Please know that there are resources to help support your family during this time. 

You can try to find a local food bank near you to access the food you need during times of uncertainty. 

Many local churches and schools are also supporting families with food donations during this time when resources are fluctuating. 

If you have regular and consistent access to food but want to help those who don’t, please consider donating food to your local food bank. 

5. Practice food neutrality in your approach to eating:

A key way to help you and your kids have a healthy relationship and outlook with food is to practice a neutral approach with all foods. 

This means dismantling diet culture’s false premise that there is a good vs. bad battle with food. 

Taking this polarized approach to food only creates chaos around eating, especially for kids. 

When kids hear that a food they’re eating is “bad”, they internalize this message as meaning that they are bad for eating it. 

From an early age, this can create conflict for them around eating, which can escalate into disordered eating. 

Instead, model the approach to food that holds trust in your bodies as the best experts of what your bodies need to thrive. This allows a place for all foods to be eaten and enjoyed in peace. 

When you’re able to feed your kids from this place, it also allows you to reclaim the joy that comes with food and eating. 

It lets you enjoy a pizza night with your kids instead of beating yourself inside about eating “bad” food. 

It allows you to have freedom with food and listen to your body for what you need. 

It acknowledges that food is not only nourishment but pleasure and enjoyment as well. 

You and your kids deserve to experience this to the fullest. 

Holding yourself to an impossible standard when feeding your kids will only create more stress and anxiety around food, for you and your children. Let that arbitrary approach to eating go by negating the idea of good versus bad foods. 

Food rules seriously suck the joy out of eating and make feeding your family even more challenging during times of uncertainty. 

Food doesn’t have to always be fresh, organic, etc. in order to be healthy.

Repetitive food and meals during the days/weeks are more than OKAY.

And just because you’re not cooking fresh meals doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that your child is going to be unhealthy.

You’re an AMAZING parent because you’re feeding your child and making sure they have adequate food.

Remember that shaming yourself about your food choices only increases stress and anxiety, which is actually worse for your health than any food you could eat. 

Like I mentioned earlier, the most important thing is to continue focusing on building a trusting feeding relationship with your child.

This is foundational for them to grow up with a positive relationship with food, no matter what meals might look like.

Focus on What Matter’s Most

Your family’s nutrition will not suffer during this time where you might be relying more heavily on processed foods, including shelf-stable, canned, and frozen foods. 

What will matter most is the manner in which you feed your child and having enough to eat. PERIOD.

Focus on creating mealtimes that are positive experiences - that is what will impact your child more, regardless of what you are eating. 

Focus on the feeding relationship that you are nurturing between you and your child to support your child in building a positive and healing relationship with food. This is possible no matter the circumstances we may be going through. 

I hope this gives you a little bit of encouragement during this time we’re all navigating together. 

How are you navigating feeding your own kids during this time? Thinking of you and sending your family so much love!