Body Acceptance: Accepting Your Body Through the Changes of Motherhood

“In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be.  Yet it is only love which sets us free.” – Maya Angelou

In a sea of disparaging waters, we often find ourselves treading.  

We, mothers, daughters, sisters, whose bodies and hearts and subject to the harsh storms of judgment.  

Although our bodies have the potential to create the most beautiful miracles, we find ourselves ridiculed, clothed often in a blanket of shame and disgrace with marks of infirmity.   Though society might impose an artificial standard of beautiful, it is within ourselves in which true beauty is found.

Every stretch mark, every curve and freckle and wrinkle, every gray hair or birthmark or dimple – there is nothing that can recreate the uniqueness of your beauty.   Though we may be continually subject to a one-sided perception of what is lovely and what is beautiful, it is in fact exactly what makes up you.  

We will fight it, yes.  

We will take aggressive measures to improve and alter, forcing a mold that we were perhaps never meant to fit.  

And we find that our self-worth and acceptance are so easily tangled and enmeshed with body image. 

“If only I was thinner”, 

“If only I were taller”, 

“If only I looked different.” 

Oh sweet mama, if only you could see what depths of beauty you exude. 

And the life you carried and wove in your womb, the sweetest miracle of life that stretched your body and your heart will never leave you the same.  

Many of us grieve the body that was lost in the process and try aimlessly to restore its former glory.  All the while the world continues spinning, our hearts aching for acceptance while the tragedy is the forsaking of this body that has carried our soul. That has grown and birthed life into this world.

Years may have passed, and suddenly you cannot remember the last time you felt comfortable in your own skin.  Body shaming becomes the common chatter in your head, and the reflection in the mirror begs for mercy as you scrutinize, agonize over flaws that only your eyes can see.  

Into this world we bear our children, and how these innocent souls teach us to love unconditionally.

In those moments that you realize you would give anything for this precious life you created can you see, this love that reflects in their eyes and drives back into your brokenness. 

That true, unconditional love must extend from self-love and compassion; that only from a tree firmly rooted can fruit be born. You are deserving of such love and compassion, and only by encompassing yourself with such grace can you teach your children to do the same.

Their tender eyes do not search out your face for flaws but rather see a face they recognize as love. Their hands do not search for tone or definition but for the softness of your supple skin.  Their arms do not care what size jeans you wear as they wrap tightly around your legs.  

As a mother, you embody more than size and shape.

You are the epitome of beauty, and nothing about your outward appearance could defile this image in their eyes.  

Sweet mama, in a world that so harshly judges and demands perfection, allow yourself to live at peace with your body, mind, and soul. For it is in our ever-changing skin that we are metamorphosing, building in ourselves a capacity for love and grace.  

As the years continue to pass on by, the wearing of our body gives rise to the charismatic soul that has loved and received love.  

It is in the imperfections that true beauty lies.

Your child will remember your delicate scent, the twinkle in your eye that accompanies the break of your smile, the sound of your laughter that fills a room, the worn hands that cupped their face.  In these precious memories will your beauty live on and be imprinted on hearts, and there, no perceived flaw can tarnish this treasure.  

After years or a lifetime of hatred towards your body, you may not know how to love yourself. You may not understand how to accept your body that may feel foreign and unfamiliar through the wear and tear of your motherhood journey. Accepting your body may seem like an impossible feat in the face of the world’s demands to “fix” the flaws that were never there to begin with.

So how to accept your body, you may wonder?

One small step at a time, dear mother.  

Start with the very life that was carried and knitted ever so perfectly in your womb.  

See yourself through their eyes and feel how deeply you are loved and cherished. 

Practice imparting grace to yourself, and treat your body as you would your very best friend.  

By channeling love towards yourself will you influence the same in your children, who will grow to know that they are lovable, worthwhile, and deserving of the graces that are too often lost in our world.

And if accepting your changing body seems too much to bear, try expressing gratitude and kindness toward yourself instead. 

Get to know your body the way you learned to get to know your new baby.

Treat her kindly, speak words of gratefulness over her for everything she’s brought you through and given you.

Be ever so patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate these uncharted waters.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to be human, to celebrate the qualities that make you unique. Even on the days you feel at odds with yourself, extend a gentle hand of kindness to your body as you learn to accept where life has brought you.

As you find the courage to love and embrace yourself, so will you ignite a sense of bravery in the ones whom you cherish, love, and dedicate your life to.  It is then, and only then by such unconditional love, can we be set free. 

(If you are a new mother learning to navigate postpartum body image issues, please be sure to check out this post here for more support: “Postpartum Body Image Issues: How to Feel Better in Your Body Today”